Autobiography #2~ Judgement

Every time, and every moment of my life, I have a choice.  In a world of anger, love, and peace, a battle of emotions rages in the heart of everyone. Expecially in the eyes of a fifteen year old girl, whose eyes are open to the dramatic influences of guys, friends, and family affairs.  All turns the victim in helpless circles, continuing in an eternal round of confusion and heartache, often causing those choices that may be regarded by some as wrong.  So here I am. In the midst of the world, struggling to find myself, as so many others do.  I am caught in a storm.  I fight, at times, against myself.  Unable to separate between reality and fiction, refusing to draw the line between right and wrong. So here I stand, while I struggle with myself, the remainder of the world is left to judge.  To judge my actions, my thoughts and intentions, to observe the image I have portrayed to the world, and the reality that lies just under my surface, and decide for themselves whether I am worthy of their affection. I am judged for my deeds, and not always too fairly.  The image of reality, confusing even to me, is blocked to those who do not have access to a clear view of who I am, and the condition of my deeds.  Misunderstanding is a key factor in judgement, turning thoughts away from reality, and hurting the scrambled conditions one may already be influenced by. So, when I can scarcely understand what's happened to me, who can so bold as to judge me for this?  They know not who I am, or under what circumstances I have chosen to act in this manner.  The situation under which I am experiencing this, is far different from all they know, despite similarities that our stories posess.  So do they deserve the right to judge me?  The ideas of the world have no place in my heart, and no eyes into my soul.  They can not see, and they cannot feel what I feel.  The heros, and loves of my consciousness are far different form theres, and therefore, they, nor I, have no right and no need to judge the other.